Uneasiness

I've been trying to pinpoint when I first felt a sense of uneasiness.

It could have been that November night (or early morning) in 2000 when I was crying because GWB had been elected (horsepoo!) even though he was okay with signing off on the capital punishment of mentally retarded people (or developmentally delayed) in Texas.

It could be that awful, horrible, morning in September 2001. I feel like ever since then I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Or maybe when we were lied into an immoral war which has distracted us all from where we really should be focused.

It could be that awful day when in spite of how bad things were GWB was re-elected (can you be re-elected when you weren't elected in the first place?). I was upset when he first became president but after this business I have a physical reaction when I see those effing "W" car decals.

God, the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina (something I have from a few DAYS after)
MR. RUSSERT: Hold on. Hold on, sir. Shouldn't the mayor of New Orleans and the governor of New Orleans bear some responsibility? Couldn't they have been much more forceful, much more effective and much more organized in evacuating the area? MR. BROUSSARD: Sir, they were told like me, every single day, "The cavalry's coming," on a federal level, "The cavalry's coming, the cavalry's coming, the cavalry's coming." I have just begun to hear the hoofs of the cavalry. The cavalry's still not here yet, but I've begun to hear the hoofs, and we're almost a week out. Let me give you just three quick examples. We had Wal-Mart deliver three trucks of water, trailer trucks of water. FEMA turned them back. They said we didn't need them. This was a week ago. FEMA--we had 1,000 gallons of diesel fuel on a Coast Guard vessel docked in my parish. The Coast Guard said, "Come get the fuel right away." When we got there with our trucks, they got a word. "FEMA says don't give you the fuel." Yesterday--yesterday--FEMA comes in and cuts all of our emergency communication lines. They cut them without notice. Our sheriff, Harry Lee, goes back in, he reconnects the line. He posts armed guards on our line and says, "No one is getting near these lines." Sheriff Harry Lee said that if America--American government would have responded like Wal-Mart has responded, we wouldn't be in this crisis.

I know I felt uneasy when I found out one of the kids I knew was in Iraq. Then when my friend's son went to Iraq.

I don't know if uneasy is what I felt when I had to catch myself on the wall when the death toll of our soldiers in Iraq hit 3,000 (God Bless them and their families). Abject grief when the number hit 4,000 (God Bless them and their families).

I have felt uneasy for so long now I don't know if I'll recognize when it's gone. Will it just lift on January 20, 2009? Will it continue? I know I don't like it at all at all. {Sigh}

Alas, there is happiness in this world: Sweet Boy (when yelling as singing is still cute)